This article contains topics of adult material. If you don’t like reading about such things, simply don’t read this post.
As you can probably tell from the title of this post, I’ll be talking about what some may consider just a part of life, and others see as something taboo. My general opinion on that is for another time on another blog, or I just may not talk about it period. Anyway, you could say this is a bit of a small stepping stone for me as a writer; I’ve never written anything erotic until a couple days ago.
Every since I decided to pick up a pencil and start writing whatever emotionally-fueled poem that reflected how shitty I felt at the time, I shied away from writing anything erotic or flat-out pornographic. At the time, and even still to this day, I’ve struggled with pornography. There were a few times I thought I could “release” by writing attempting at erotica, but I felt like I would become one of those people who write horny fanfiction and that be the closest they get to having sex. Basically, I felt like I would be creating my own porn and trap myself in a fantasy that will never become real.
Now, I have heard the argument that viewing and creating erotica can help satisfy those sexual desires we naturally have as humans (YOU’RE ACTUALLY A HUMAN AND NOT A TIGER?!). Of course, there are those of us who like our sex to be a little more…”interesting;” I’ll admit, I’m one of those in some small way. In that same vain, it can also help explore your sexuality and what “turns you on.” In that regard, viewing erotic pictures has helped me with that.
Taking that argument into account, I’ve asked myself something like, “Will writing out my own sexual fantasies help further that exploration and satisfaction?” without fear of trapping myself in fantasy. I consider myself fairly grounded, and I realize that what’s depicted in any kind of art or entertainment isn’t always real. In fact, most of it isn’t. Lately, I feel confident enough to not feel trapped in a fantasy. Art isn’t reality; it’s simply an expression of our inner selves and thoughts, and what we find beautiful in the world.
(I’ll address this really quick because I’ve thrown around the word “pornography” and “erotica” a few times already. There’s a difference between the two.
Pornography is simply for quick gratification. It can have a shitty story, or no story, and shitty characters with shitty dialogue, but as long as the sex is there, and most times exaggerated, people will view it with the intent of getting a quick release. The story is the vehicle for the sex, then it doesn’t matter anymore.
Erotica, from what I gather, is an actual story; it’s about the characters developing their relationship and, of course, doing dirty things to each other at some point. However, the story is the most important part of erotica, not the sex. It’s not exaggerated, and may only happen in one or more quick scenes; not this drawn-out sex marathon. Even if it’s part of a story that’s Sci-Fi or Fantasy, it’ll be more real than the sex in pornography. And yes, you’ll still get that sexual satisfaction.
As a brief illustration, think of pornography as fast food, and erotica as a nice meal at a nice restaurant. One is quick and satisfies you a short time, the other takes a while to consume and leaves you with a satisfaction in just the fact you had it.)
So, what about my own, personal experience with writing erotica? Well…it was hard (in both contexts). It took me a while to hash out the sex part because, well, I felt awkward writing it; and it was only foreplay. I didn’t go all the way, as in the actual sex, because that wasn’t my intention when writing the prompt response. It was simply just a part of the it. I even had to stop part way just to process what I was writing because it was a new experience for me; there was a part of me that felt wrong doing it, and there was a part of me that felt good for doing something more adult for a change. In the end, I just went with it and continued that part later after processing what the hell I was doing.
After having that experience, I honestly feel fine with writing something dirty once in a while. More than likely I won’t go all the way, but, let’s be honest here, foreplay’s the best part, am I right? Plus, I’d rather focus on the characters and what they’ll do and what will happen to them as I plan out a story, not how they “get it on.” It’s a weird and awkward thing to talk about for most people, but I think it’s something every writer should try at least once, be it in fiction or poetry.